Today I had lunch with a good friend of mine who paid me one of the nicest compliments that I have received in a long time. Wait, let me start at the beginning- well, sort of at the beginning. My buddy came in to the restaurant and he was beaming – almost literally. I immediately asked him how things were going as he was jumping out his skin. He proceeded to tell me that he has never been happier since he left his job 6 weeks ago. Here is the compliment – he said that he had ME to thank for this decision and the accompanying happiness! What?
2 months ago we had lunch together near my office – right after he took a new job- and he was NOT happy. In fact, he was borderline miserable and I understood exactly why he felt that way.. He left a very comfy and cozy job to take a job that logic said he couldn’t refuse. However, two weeks into the job he had the feeling that I always get every time I take a new job – a feeling that I don’t think I have the words to express. It is a feeling of heaviness in your stomach that stems from not doing something true to yourself and for some of us out here, WORKING for someone else is not being true to ourselves. My friend wants to be a working writer and every job he takes makes him feel one step further away from that goal.
So, 2 months ago I sat down and talked with him about where he was and how he was going to get where he wanted to go.. Side note for those of you who don’t know me yet – I AM AMAZING AT HELPING PEOPLE GET WHAT THEY WANT (I even talked a colleague into quitting smoking over tea during a staff retreat – 1 year later she still has not had a smoke) BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO DO IT FOR MYSELF. He and I talked about our upbringings and how we watched our baby-boomer dads work at the same gigs for decades (more on baby boomers later) and how that paradigm has shaped who we are now. We also talked about fear and the passage of time. I don’t know exactly what I said to him – I do know that I said it with passion and I suggested that it was now or never. I told him that since he has a phenomenal wife who would totally support this decision, he should do it while he is still flexible (no mortgage.. no kids). I told him about all of the things that I have wanted to do and “sat on my hands” and watched less talented people succeed where I didn't even try. A reckless disregard for the passage of time! (see 2/16 post).
I talked on and on during that lunch ( in fact, I felt a little bad because I usually try not to “hog” conversations because I don’t want to sound like a lawyer). I am passionate about this because I truly believe that when you are gifted at something you have a duty to share it with the world. Well, something in my words and passion must have resonated with my buddy because he went home and told his wife that he was going to quit and give the writing “thing” a try. She laughed because she couldn’t believe that she has been trying to convince him to do this for years and after 1 lunch with me, he was ready..
Today, he shared with me that almost as soon as he made the decision to quit and break out on his own, doors started swinging wide open and people in his life (including his parents) surprised him with their support. This is exactly how the universe works – at least as I understand it!!
I can guarantee that he is going to be a phenomenally successful writer and YOU will know his writing in the very near future – MARK MY WORDS and I promise to keep you posted!
Questions for you.
2 months ago we had lunch together near my office – right after he took a new job- and he was NOT happy. In fact, he was borderline miserable and I understood exactly why he felt that way.. He left a very comfy and cozy job to take a job that logic said he couldn’t refuse. However, two weeks into the job he had the feeling that I always get every time I take a new job – a feeling that I don’t think I have the words to express. It is a feeling of heaviness in your stomach that stems from not doing something true to yourself and for some of us out here, WORKING for someone else is not being true to ourselves. My friend wants to be a working writer and every job he takes makes him feel one step further away from that goal.
So, 2 months ago I sat down and talked with him about where he was and how he was going to get where he wanted to go.. Side note for those of you who don’t know me yet – I AM AMAZING AT HELPING PEOPLE GET WHAT THEY WANT (I even talked a colleague into quitting smoking over tea during a staff retreat – 1 year later she still has not had a smoke) BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO DO IT FOR MYSELF. He and I talked about our upbringings and how we watched our baby-boomer dads work at the same gigs for decades (more on baby boomers later) and how that paradigm has shaped who we are now. We also talked about fear and the passage of time. I don’t know exactly what I said to him – I do know that I said it with passion and I suggested that it was now or never. I told him that since he has a phenomenal wife who would totally support this decision, he should do it while he is still flexible (no mortgage.. no kids). I told him about all of the things that I have wanted to do and “sat on my hands” and watched less talented people succeed where I didn't even try. A reckless disregard for the passage of time! (see 2/16 post).
I talked on and on during that lunch ( in fact, I felt a little bad because I usually try not to “hog” conversations because I don’t want to sound like a lawyer). I am passionate about this because I truly believe that when you are gifted at something you have a duty to share it with the world. Well, something in my words and passion must have resonated with my buddy because he went home and told his wife that he was going to quit and give the writing “thing” a try. She laughed because she couldn’t believe that she has been trying to convince him to do this for years and after 1 lunch with me, he was ready..
Today, he shared with me that almost as soon as he made the decision to quit and break out on his own, doors started swinging wide open and people in his life (including his parents) surprised him with their support. This is exactly how the universe works – at least as I understand it!!
I can guarantee that he is going to be a phenomenally successful writer and YOU will know his writing in the very near future – MARK MY WORDS and I promise to keep you posted!
Questions for you.
1) How do I persuade my brilliant photographer friend to truly break out and let the world experience his gift? He and I suffer from something else – we take rejection personally. Listen, my friend is a PHENOMENAL PHOTOGRAPHER – his work is stunning – visit http://www.raymondjonesimages.com/
2) How do I convince my other buddy to use his brilliant mind to help shape some of the public discourse in this country – he ought to be ashamed of himself that Michael Eric Dyson is out there “making it happen” and he is not!
Both of these friends are being selfish (not in a malicious way) with their talent and they need to let their lights shine for the rest of us. HOW CAN I HELP???
3) Don’t even get my started on my other friend and the book(s) he should have written by now- if you want to check out a real writer’s blog- see http://www.dawnsonink.net/ - jump on his site and tell him that he needs to write his book (this is not the same friend that I had lunch with).
2) How do I convince my other buddy to use his brilliant mind to help shape some of the public discourse in this country – he ought to be ashamed of himself that Michael Eric Dyson is out there “making it happen” and he is not!
Both of these friends are being selfish (not in a malicious way) with their talent and they need to let their lights shine for the rest of us. HOW CAN I HELP???
3) Don’t even get my started on my other friend and the book(s) he should have written by now- if you want to check out a real writer’s blog- see http://www.dawnsonink.net/ - jump on his site and tell him that he needs to write his book (this is not the same friend that I had lunch with).
1 comment:
OK, OK, OK - you have inspired me - I need to get off my ass and get my concept paper done so that I can write my dissertation and then turn it into a book that the world can read. I pledge to stop being so selfish with my gifts.
Thanks thubbs
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