Going back to the farm

Congrats mom & dad!!

How do we get this train back on track???

I don’t have one friend (and I have a lot of friends) who is not deeply committed to making a difference in our society today! Pick the issue – hunger, poverty, education, environment, racism, sexism, homophobia, homelessness, disease, AIDS, orphaned children, animal rights, etc… We are all interested in doing something. Unfortunately for us, we grew up in the shadow of BABY BOOMERS and Civil Rights folks who are obviously going to take every baton with them to their graves. I CAN’T WAIT TO start my tee-shirt company so I can sell shirts that say something like “THE BABY BOOM WAS A BUST!!” – I am still working on the language but you get the gist J . I say it is unfortunate for us because a lot of us grew up listening to stories of all of the work that they put into making change and saw many things go backwards. At the same time, they wanted us to WAIT for everything (you know… 40 is the new 20, etc.) and they didn’t want us to go through what they went through.. So, a lot of us followed the rules and are sitting here as adults wondering how we could have left these issues to be addressed by the “me” generation.. Yikes, I have such a huge blind spot with respect to that generation that I am letting it affect my ability to stay ‘on point’ – sorry for the digression.

Anyway, I am struggling to find a way to get us all together and working effectively towards our collective end – a safe and equitable society where everyone is valued and no one falls through the cracks!! The one thing we always hear is that we would like to do something but we just don’t know what to do…. By the way, we can’t look to politicians and our so-called leaders… This has to start with us.. The dirty little secret in this country is that most folks have more in common with each other than they do with any of the people we call leaders. We often find ourselves distracted by arbitrary differences like race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, geography, etc. This is no accident – what if the country woke up out of its collective slumber and recognized that 98% are fighting over 2 % of the crumbs??? – there would be mayhem and madness!!. Or would there be?? EVERY DAY, something happens that should be driving the majority of us out into the streets ready to burn this mf down! We can start with fighting a meaningless war - a war where most of us CHOOSE to ignore how many people we are killing every day and focus on its cost (and, somehow, despite Mr. Cheney’s ulterior motive behind this war, we are sitting by watching gas prices soar over $4 per gallon). We should be livid that we are able to fund this war but we can’t find $$$ to educate our children (oh, that’s right, if we educated everyone equitably, who would fight our wars??). We should be freaked out by the fact that there are still homeless people and countless empty homes. We should be terrified that jobs are disappearing and people are losing their homes in record numbers. Is this the perfect storm that they talk about before the end of an empire?? What about global warming? We should be sick to our stomachs (well, we are but you know what I mean…) that we are sitting by and idly watching our planet heat up because of our neglect – we can change this and we are sitting on our hands (screw the debate about whether we are impacting the earth negatively – either side you come out on- you can’t conclude that we shouldn’t change our behavior)..
The list is seemingly endless.. WE can change the direction of this story.. I know we can but it is going to take all of us- seriously!! I am going to start blogging about my ideas and the ideas of my friends – I would love to hear what you think about how we can get together and affect real change. (don’t get me started on how folks like Gates could make very real change if they were so moved….. ).

Sorry to rant.. I promise to go back to more coherent posts soon.

Stacked over ball

Man, it is funny how the universe works.. I have been having more breakthroughs with respect to my golf swing ever since we had a baby and I can't get out and play.. This morning, at the range, I had another epiphany- I need to feel like I am stacked over the ball at contact - this felt great and allowed me to swing out after impact (I AM DYING TO GET ON THE COURSE).

Swinging against the left side

Alright... Alright... I should have bought an impact bag a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnng time ago.. Jeez, I don't think I ever understood what it meant to swing into the left side before. Yesterday, I was working on 2 things at the driving range when I got a strange sensation (for me, at least), I felt what it was like to "release" the club.. I was working on feeling like my right hand was pressing against my left thumb on the take away (to help "width" of the backswing) and I was working on shortening my backswing with the sensation that my club was dropping as a first move.. I accidentally started to swing into my left side and the ball started making a different sound at impact - a powerful "thud" and it felt like my club was going to fly out of my hands.. WOW.. I need to go back to the range a few times before I can fully process it ... I will keep you POSTED..

Discipline is not a bad word

I think a lot about reaching certain goals in my life.. I have written pages and pages about it in my journals./.. I have worked hard at it// I have cried about it.. I have been open-minded.. However, in the end, many of my goals have eluded me (don't you love the passive voice here??). Anyway, I sat down recently and tried to articulate why I think I haven't been successful in the past and what I can do to get different results moving forward..

There is one OVERRIDDING goal that I got from reading Good to Great- DISCIPLINE OR THE LACK OF ALONG THE WAY.. I don't underestimate the importance of this little trait and I no longer equate it with being neurotic or lacking spontenaeity (sort of how I used to see "morning" people before I came one)..

So, as promised in my previous post, I am including a list (it is shorthand since no one is actually reading it)..

Reasons I haven't reached my goals
• Process & intellectualize conditions
• Too easy on myself at crunch time (but too hard on myself after-the-fact)
• Blame outside factors (eg. Tumor)
• Self-sabotage (eg. Cookies after workout)
• Bad self-image (living to be right about image)
• Stuck on old images/messages about self
• VERY Comfortable
• Focus only on results not process
• Hoping for quick solutions (tied to bullet above)
• Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow
• Got to have last “hurrah” before start
• Swinging for fences – all or nothing at all
• No belief that change will actually happen
• Lack of internal integrity (strong external integrity – keep promises to everyone but me)
• No back up plans when I mess up
• Not prioritizing important goals over BS time fillers
• No CLEAR, REALISTIC, ATTAINABLE goals/objectives
• I write down goals and never look back (as if writing down takes me off hook)
• NO “non-negotiables”
• No sense of urgency
• No positive reinforcement (esp. from self)
• No rewards
• Waiting for magical epiphany instead of “just acting” just doing it!!
• Never “act as if”
• Feeling like I am “too far gone” to change or reach goal
• Short term thinking
• No support network
• Feeling that I am victim or that things are unfair (eg. It is unfair that some folks get to eat all they want and not gain a pound)

Keys to reaching goals
 Establish Realistic and attainable Goals (by the way, changing habits is a goal)
 Objectives that will get to goal
 Benchmarks & periodic evals.
 Periodic rewards (daily if necessary)
 Redefine what rewards are (not bad stuff)
 Recruit support network
 Start NOW, not tomorrow
 Make it priority #1
 BE SELFISH ABOUT IT
 Revel in the process
 Revisit goals OFTEN (daily)
 Be hard on yourself
 Establish Plan B (eg. When you are about to eat something bad for yourself, OD on h2o).
 Contingency plans to get back on track if you do mess up “all is not lost”
 Change rhetoric and self-messaging to reflect the way you really feel about yourself (treat yourself the way you’d treat a best friend)
 Act “as if” you are already at your goal
 Recognize that the epiphany is just that.. and change happens in action
 START NOW…

Fat-boy-slim

OK, so this is about as vulnerable as I am going to be on this blog (besides my discussions of miscarriages, of course). This is much more personal. I have decided to declare IN WRITING that I am going to get my body and appearance together for once and for all!! Each week, I am going to update this blog about my progress.. (I typed “uggh” here and then I erased it – hmmm… that could be a separate post by itself).

I could write for hours and hours as well as pages and pages about where I have been. I could talk about my pituitary tumor (and the ways that that screwed up my hormone levels – especially my testosterone and prolactin), my 20 years of not eating meat and the countless and I mean countless hours at the gym (and how embarrassing it is to be the hardest working person there and have my body look like I am a total slacker) BUT I WON’T. I won’t write about these things because I am where I am – period. And, as I understand it, the best way to get “un-lost” is to determine where you are!!

So, where am I? I NEED TO LOSE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF WEIGHT- period!!! I don’t have an exact # and, honestly, I don’t care what that number is… Here are my goals (I am giving myself 6 months to get 90% of the way there)…

I want to get my body fat % under 10%
I want to “look” fit and feel great in my clothes
I want to develop and sustain extremely healthy habits (eating and exercise)
I want to be strong .
I want to take care of my skin, hair & teeth.


HERE IS WHERE I AM GOING TO START…

- I am going to cut out sugar and bread for 1 month (to start)
- I am going to start going to the gym again (at least 3-4 x/wk)
- I want to start walking and swimming more often
- I am going to be “present” about my eating and conscious about snacking
- I am going to try to start eating meat again.
- I am going to get on a sustainable vitamin/supplement regimen (not just take whatever I feel like that day)
- Limit beverages to water and tea
- Maybe start drinking alcohol ( I have never been a real drinker before).
- Schedule surgery on my left foot..


My next post will include the list of things that I typically do to sabotage myself and strategies for avoiding those pitfalls moving forward.

Wish me luck and look for an update next week.

Getting back on the blog track

I feel weird that I haven’t written on this blog in a week. I think I have mixed emotions because I don’t think anyone other than 1 friend actually reads this – if that is the case, I could just send him emails ☺.. However, I want to be clear that this is not a complaint because I haven’t told anyone about my blog (I want to always leave room to talk trash about friends and family : ). So, I am going to pretend that folks are reading it and get back to writing more regularly…

Can I move to Hawaii?

My best friend and his amazing wife are in Hawaii right now. I am not a jealous person by nature but DAMN I wish we were there with them!! We saw them last week on the way to Hawaii (they had a long layover in LA so we picked them up and spent the day together – she FINALLY got to see the Hollywood sign (a big deal for someone from Singapore)). We had a blast during our short 6-hour break together and it made me realize how much I miss my family (blood and otherwise) on the East Coast. It also made me realize how important it is to shape your life the way YOU want it to look/be. In other words, if you love being around your close friends and outside all of the time, for instance, don’t move 3,000 miles away from everyone and take a job that forces you to be inside most of the day. Pack up your stuff and let your lifestyle determine where you work and live (we’ve all heard it said a million times - work to live rather than live to work).

So, I am declaring it here and now.. I am going to get off my butt and make things happen… I’ve charged our friends to figure out how we can live and work in Hawaii – folks do it every day! People say stuff like, “I’d be bored” or “I’d get island fever.” I don’t understand these concepts – BORED? REALLY? Well, I don’t think a lot of people really take stock of what their lives look like.. Take me for instance, I live in a city that never sleeps but I do- every single night! I don’t hang out late at night anymore. I don’t work in “the business.” What am I doing in LA? All of the things that I really enjoy – spending time with my wife and baby, walking, hiking, not rushing from place to place in my care, hanging at the beach, playing golf, etc. - are things that I can do a lot more of in a place like Hawaii.

Hold me to this promise – I am going to stop riding the bench in my own life… More about that in a later post..