YELLOW was the color of the banana peel that I threw out of my window at the car of the impatient driver who could not stop honking at me as we inched our way down Arlington Blvd. OH MY GOD! I was driving to a meeting near USC and I made the mistake of taking Arlington Blvd. Now, I don’t have anything against a street named Arlington- especially since I consider Northern VA home!! However, everyone on the west side of LA seems to think that this is the best way to get to I-10.
Brownish- black is the color of the banana residue that is probably still on her window right now. I am not sure why this woman got under MYskin – maybe because it was early and I was late. Maybe it was because she was riding my bumper on the passenger side of my car and couldn’t see that there was a car 2’ in front of me and a car 2’ in front of that car and so on and so on.. Maybe it is because she was driving a Honda Civic and I have my issues with civic drivers. OR, MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE SHE KEPT HONKING AT ME AS IF SHE WANTED ME TO RUN OVER THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME and is apparently too stupid to at least move to the other side of my car and SEE if there is a car in front of me (she also could have deduced that since the line of cars was a mile long).
Red was the color of my brown cheeks by the time I was able to get out of her way (the right lane was blocked by a broken down garbage truck). I pulled over and she jumped into the turning lane to get onto I-10 (and she actually had the nerve to look shocked when she saw traffic jamming up the lanes – she had to slam on her brakes as she tried to zip past me)…
Green was the color of my insides as I stepped out of character and started honking at her! I was so annoyed (although not mad) and I wanted her to look at me as she passed but she just looked straight ahead.. That is what really irked me – I wanted to ask her “where in the hell could I go? Do you want me to run over the Cadillac that was basically parked in front of me?” As I watched her ride the bumper of the guy next to me, I was finishing up the banana I was eating when something came over me and before I knew it a banana peel was soaring from my car to her passenger window (don’t you love how I switched to “passive voice” right there like I had nothing to do with it).
Silver is the color of my halo as I tell you that THIS behavior is WAAAYYYY out of character for me. I consider myself an excellent driver- excellent because I am very aware of what is going on around me, I take safety seriously, I watch and anticipate other drivers, and I am considerate and patient. However, I am always amazed by all of the poor driving that goes on around me (there is never a day that goes by that I don’t see something egregious)… I like to comment on the driving but that is it.. I honestly can’t say what came over me!!
White is the color of the flag that I am waving right now. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GET THE HELL OUT OF LA.. I am not meant to be here – I don’t do well in city this large where no one seems to “see” each other and everyone is anonymous.
Special note on Karma = I paid $8 to park in the garage at USC and I left my car in a spot marked for the Sizzler restaurant (they weren’t open) and I got a $50 ticket. As my grandmother says “God doesn’t like ugly.” What can I say.. I am a work in progress..
Brownish- black is the color of the banana residue that is probably still on her window right now. I am not sure why this woman got under MYskin – maybe because it was early and I was late. Maybe it was because she was riding my bumper on the passenger side of my car and couldn’t see that there was a car 2’ in front of me and a car 2’ in front of that car and so on and so on.. Maybe it is because she was driving a Honda Civic and I have my issues with civic drivers. OR, MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE SHE KEPT HONKING AT ME AS IF SHE WANTED ME TO RUN OVER THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME and is apparently too stupid to at least move to the other side of my car and SEE if there is a car in front of me (she also could have deduced that since the line of cars was a mile long).
Red was the color of my brown cheeks by the time I was able to get out of her way (the right lane was blocked by a broken down garbage truck). I pulled over and she jumped into the turning lane to get onto I-10 (and she actually had the nerve to look shocked when she saw traffic jamming up the lanes – she had to slam on her brakes as she tried to zip past me)…
Green was the color of my insides as I stepped out of character and started honking at her! I was so annoyed (although not mad) and I wanted her to look at me as she passed but she just looked straight ahead.. That is what really irked me – I wanted to ask her “where in the hell could I go? Do you want me to run over the Cadillac that was basically parked in front of me?” As I watched her ride the bumper of the guy next to me, I was finishing up the banana I was eating when something came over me and before I knew it a banana peel was soaring from my car to her passenger window (don’t you love how I switched to “passive voice” right there like I had nothing to do with it).
Silver is the color of my halo as I tell you that THIS behavior is WAAAYYYY out of character for me. I consider myself an excellent driver- excellent because I am very aware of what is going on around me, I take safety seriously, I watch and anticipate other drivers, and I am considerate and patient. However, I am always amazed by all of the poor driving that goes on around me (there is never a day that goes by that I don’t see something egregious)… I like to comment on the driving but that is it.. I honestly can’t say what came over me!!
White is the color of the flag that I am waving right now. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GET THE HELL OUT OF LA.. I am not meant to be here – I don’t do well in city this large where no one seems to “see” each other and everyone is anonymous.
Special note on Karma = I paid $8 to park in the garage at USC and I left my car in a spot marked for the Sizzler restaurant (they weren’t open) and I got a $50 ticket. As my grandmother says “God doesn’t like ugly.” What can I say.. I am a work in progress..
2 comments:
Sorry you had to go through that but your write up is funny as hell. I am cracking up.
Oh no you DIDN'T!
I hate mean drivers. I hate bad drivers. Mean bad drivers are the worst worst worst.
Post a Comment