Advice for pregnant friends and new parents

Warning - this is an unbelievably long post so only read this if you are interested in these tips. Yes, I should have cut this up into several smaller posts so chalk it up to a blookie mistake (is that what you call a blogger rookie??).

I don’t pretend to be an expert about anything regarding parenting or pregnancy but I want to share a few things that my wife and I feel confident about (or wish we had known)..

While Still pregnant
Ø Yoga, yoga, yoga – my wife was thrilled that she took classes while she was pregnant - it helped her be a part of a community of pregnant women AND it worked miracles during the delivery

Ø Take Infant CPR class,
Ø Infant care class (especially learn to swaddle)..
Ø Make sure Dad goes to ALL classes (two heads are better than one because pregnancy brain is REAL and it is nice when Daddy can fully participate too).
Ø GET READY FOR BABY TO COME HOME = so much of the focus is on having the baby BUT we wish that we spent more time preparing for life after we got home with our son...
Ø Buy “happiest baby on the block” VIDEO and watch it BEFORE you have baby (we were literally up the first night at home with our son trying to watch the video and comfort him - truly pitiful)..
Ø Sit down with your partner and figure out what you want your birth experience to be like and draft a birth plan – ESPECIALLY if you are serious about not letting your child have formula or a pacifier for instance….
Ø Talk to each other about what will work for YOU (mommy) during labor and make sure you give your partner the “green light” to be your advocate with doctors and nurses…
Ø Start reading to baby now (have your partner read/sing “oh the places you’ll go in utero” book )
Ø If you haven’t, check out national geographic “in the womb” video (great images/very informative) http://shop.nationalgeographic.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=2692&itemType=PRODUCT&RS=1&keyword=in+the+womb
Ø PILLOWS PILLOWS PILLOWS so mommy can sleep comfortably
Ø DO NOT BUY NURSING BRAS UNTIL 9th MONTH (even then, allow for additional growth).
Ø Do you have a store like “pump station” there? (i.e. a store that sells pumps, parts, clothes, etc. AND, offers classes on everything baby???). If so, take breastfeeding classes (have daddy go to classes too – it is important because “mommy brain” is real and you may forget stuff)..
Ø Can’t buy too many nursing tops (My wife uses them religiously).

In the Hospital
Ø Get one of those “hospital check lists” – we were happy we had the following:
o Hand-held fan for mom while she was in labor
o Music (make a disc or playlist and check and see if you have something to play it on).
o Massage tools for daddy to use on you while in labor (3-pronged massage tool, tennis ball, whatever works).
o Small Cooler
o Food & drink for both of you (Dad/partner will need to keep strength up too).
Ø Don’t bring nice/fancy clothes to hospital – don’t bring long gown
Ø Take EVERYTHING you can from hospital when you leave (you will use all of it)
Ø Small gifts for nurses because they do EVERYTHING leading up to the moment the baby arrives (eg., box of candy or something).
Ø Stay in hospital as long as possible (find out what the law REALLY allows)
Ø MAKE SURE THEY PUT BABY ON MOMMY’S CHEST INSTANTLY after baby is delivered (no delay at all). Spend that initial time soothing, crying, kissing, loving each other for as long as you can.. Baby will find your breast during that time – it is an amazing time!!
Ø Make sure Dad/partner goes with baby EVERYWHERE (even for initial cleaning) – it is kind of a dilemma for daddy at first because staying with baby means leaving mommy (BUT, in most cases, mommy can fend for herself unlike baby).

WE really liked having our son in our room all night in hospital (this was really important – despite what people say about letting mommy get sleep – trust us, baby will sleep = THAT IS ALL THEY DO AT FIRST)..
Ø Insist (have partner insist) on seeing lactation consultant EARLY in your hospital stay – don’t let them wait until the night before you leave.
Ø Have a “point person” to make the calls for you (make a phone list and give it to someone who can relay all of the info – weight, time, name, etc.).

When you get home
Ø Have disposable/mesh underwear waiting for you (in addition to the ones you took from the hospital).
Ø I am going to include a sample of an activity log (it is amazing how many things you keep a record of during the first months).
Ø HARD TO DO ….BUT TRY SLEEP WHENEVER THE BABY IS SLEEPING – it is hard because you are tempted to try and “get things done” when the baby finally falls asleep – FORGET THAT TEMPTATION and SLEEP>.. WE DID NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE AND STILL REGRET IT!!!
Ø BELLY/TUMMY TIME – no one told us how important this really is - it wasn’t stressed when we were coming up because we grew up sleeping on our stomachs –( BACK –TO-SLEEP movement started in ’94 (to prevent SIDS) and all of the accompanying sleepers, chairs, swings, etc, have forced our babies to be on their backs an inordinate amount of time). It wasn’t until our son was about 6 weeks that our Pediatrician suggested he spend A LOT more time on his belly – there are tons of articles that talk about the importance of “tummy time.” Check this one out http://wholebodyllc.com/_wsn/page4.html
Ø TONS OF SKIN-TO-SKIN contact (this is where daddy/ partner gets to be the “star” of the show because he can let baby sleep on his chest AND because your breasts may hurt too much OR all baby will want to do on your chest is feed NOT sleep).
Ø Don’t be shy about calling your pediatrician (you will feel like a crazy person at times but it is YOUR first baby and no one else’s)….

Products –

Ø Baby Beat (plays heart-sounding rhythms that are supposed to engage baby in utero)
Ø Co-sleeper (this has been great for us for home AND travel)
Ø Little bumpers to make sure he stays on his back when sleeping
Ø Mother Love nipple cream (all natural ingredients)- can get at Whole Food
Ø Pack-n-play
Ø Gripe water if he has gas
Ø ONLY BUY 1 box of N (new born) diapers in case he is too big for them (a lot of babies end up being between N and 1).


Secret Weapons/ Helpful hints

Ø Shower (running water)- our son loves the sound and feel of running water – it calms him down INSTANTLY –try it out (even when he gets shots, I rush him over to the faucet and he stops crying instantly – then, mommy breastfeeds him and he is fine)..
Ø Warm steamer for room
Ø First bath (fill it a little higher than books suggest – just as long as it doesn’t get in his ears at first–baby will be miserable if he is sitting in 1 inch of water – think about how you’d feel- )
Ø SLINGS (in addition to baby bjorns)– for BOTH OF YOU – one for you and PREMAXX for daddy (it is big enough for a man).
Ø Bouncy/yoga ball (large enough for either one of you to bounce on with Baby and great for you to just sit on, mommy during last few months of pregnancy– (very easy on your back)). PS. mommy, you won’t be able to bounce on this ball very much during the first few weeks .

Ø LEARN the ‘air chair” position – especially if baby has gas
Ø Have gripe water “on hand” (maybe even Mylicon if you are OK with that)..
Ø If baby does have gas, have mommy try some chamomile tea
Ø Learn infant massage techniques
Ø Mother’s Milk tea (for breast feeding).
Ø Netflix
Ø Daddy can massage mommy's legs and feet when you are feeding
Ø Encourage daddy to change MAJORITY of diapers during first few weeks (especially at night – ALL ABOUT SOLIDARITY, brother).


You will get to know your baby very quickly and the best advice that someone gave us is to trust our instincts and trust whatever strategies work for you (just trust the process)..


FINALLY, this piece of advice could have fit in any of the above categories so we put it at the end so it’ll stand out.. You have probably already noticed that, while being pregnant is AWESOME, it is also an invitation for EVERYONE to offer unsolicited advice (this memo notwithstanding) – take what works for y’all and move on…

However, there is something that is subtle but inevitable – some folks get into a competition with each other about almost EVERYTHING having to do with their babies (e.g., how much did your baby weigh? How much weight is he gaining? Are you breast feeding? How much does he sleep? Is he colicky? Etc. – you may have already seen signs of it but it gets worse). IGNORE THIS CRAP! Also, do what works for you and don’t let groups like La Leche League make you feel any way at all about what you are doing – TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS (my sister, is amazing at this and my wife has become amazing at this and you will be amazing at this – YOU KNOW YOUR BABY BETTER THAN ANYONE ON THE PLANET = even your pediatrician).



OOOOPPPSSS>. One last piece of stealthy advice – one that we REALLY stand behind and that you probably won’t hear from a lot of folks (we got it from our first pediatrician).. If you are planning to travel with baby in the first year (and you happen to be breastfeeding), be sure to use a dropper to put drops of breastmilk in his eyes and nose (breastmilk is a magic cure-all elixir or something- SERIOUSLY). Also, if you are going to be around a lot of folks you can do this as a preemptive measure (you can even do it if baby does, in fact, get sick)..